mondrian and the russian suprematists used to be BFF until malevich and eli started using diagonal line. this lead to a sort of disagreement so mondrian was like ew whatev, took his large ego and his vertical/horizontal line and called his art work “De Stijl ” or “the style.”  this would have totally been on the cover of US weekly next to bradgalina collecting babies from all over the world had it happened today.  or maybe some shitty critic would have written about it in the “best of whatever” issue in art forum.

sorry we haven’t been updating.  alison is busy being a super important designer in new york and i am in eastern europe hangin out with gypsies. or something whatever we will talk soon.

in the mean time any fake art history you would like to know about?

arthur rimbaud 

oppositional defiance disorder

jackson pollock

restless leg syndrome

charles bukowski

narcassitic personality disorder

degas

whats the correct term for baby lover? pedophile i guess.

jenny saville

reverse body dysmorphic disorder

andy warhol

borderline personality disorder

MORE TO COME

via artparasite

we got our own personal pages too

you can follow us!

ALFIE

ALISON

CRITICAL THEORY 

this is basically about complaining

POST MODERNISM

this is basically about nothing

ART THEORY

well this is about pretending you know what you are talking about in regards to the meaning and life of an artist.  It is very important that you are not an artist when you do this.

if there is a topic you would like interpreted here please just ask us!

cy twombly wrote this letter to me a while back.  i think he was quoting lines from titanic 

such as

“IS ANYBODY ALIVE OUT THERE”

AND

“I’LL NEVER LET GO JACK…I’LL NEVER LET GO!|

AND MAYBE 

“IM THE KING OF THE WOOOORLD!”

enjoy

[interview with andy warhol including rumors, and exaggerations]

so andy in what places do you find your inspirations for your prints?

oh gee um i dont know i just think every one is so beautiful, what do you think?

what was on your mind when you made the now iconic soup can?

um gee well i dont know what do you think?

can you comment on your apparent infatuation with celebrities?

i mean they are just so beautiful, don’t you think?

Marina Abramović: The Artist Is Present

so maybe talking about this retrospective at the MoMa is no longer relevant.  but whatever I do what I want OK? What are you my dad? Marina Abramovic is super great.  she is just so progressive that whole performance where she and another person where breathing in and out of each others lungs until they passed out, yah that was conviction.

The artist is present. she is? i can’t see her oh no there she is. obviously i know she is there so stop telling me she is there i get it geez.  In a tribute to this i nailed a vibrator to the wall at the fine arts building of The Fashion Institute of Technology with a sign stating “the orgasm is not present”.

there was a bunch of things not present at The MoMa in the duration of the retrospective.

popcorn [sometimes we all want a snack]

various beverages where also not present

jokes [yeah didnt hear one joke]

farts [ didn’t she have to fart at one point or another?]

can you guys name any other things that where not present?

HI IM DAMIEN HIRST I LIKE TO THROW SHIT IN FORMALDEHYDE AND MAKE SKULLS SPARKLEY BECAUSE I SECRETLY WISH I WAS THE DUDE FROM TWILIGHT.